QUOTES of the WEEK



"It was lovely. He told me he loved me, then went to sleep and didn't wake up." -- Marsha Edwards, wife of 49-year old Bruce Edwards, who died after battling Lou Gehrig's disease for 13 months. Bruce was Tom Watson's caddie on the PGA tour for 27 years. (4/04)

"I said earlier they were the best 1-6 team around." -- Head Coach Henry Clark of Cal State Bakersfield after UC Davis beat his 22nd ranked Roadrunners 69-65 to go 2-6 in CCAA league play. (1/03)

"When I walked out, I couldn't feel my legs. I tried to act cool, but but I was afraid I might trip over a line. I was just glad to get to the bench and sit down." -- Interim Indiana Hoosier basketball coach Mike Davis on his first game after replacing legendary Coach Bobby Knight. (12/99)

"For 16 years I've lived every kid's fantasy. It's unfortunate I didn't come to Houston until I was on the downside. I wish I could have played my entire career here. Basketball doesn't owe me anything. I owe everything in my life to basketball, everything. I'm 37 years old. I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams. I have great material things. I've been all over the world, and it's all because of basketball." -- retiring Houston Rockets poer forward Charles Barkley, after he walked off the NBA hardcourt for the last time. (4/20/00)

"Never trust a woman who was a guest on the Jerry Springer Show and who has a t-shirt with "NEXT" printed on the front of it." -- UC Davis assistant coach Duane Kouba, just thinking out loud. (12/99)

"I can't let him hit me and get away with it. My grandma would be mad at me if I let him get away with it. I had to defend myself." -- Houston Rockets forward Charles Barkley, after he and Los Angeles Lakers center Shaquille O'Neal were ejected for scuffling in an NBA game won by the Lakers 89-88. (10/99)

"I still feel funny looking at it. You're not supposed to have a statue when you're alive." -- baseball Hall-of-Famer Willie Mays, after seeing a replica of the statue of himself which will soon grace the entrance of the San Francisco Giants new Pacific Bell Park. (10/99)

"I wouldn't give Charles Barkley an apology at gunpoint. He can never expect an apology from me. If anything, he owes me an apology for coming to play with his big fat butt." -- soon-to-be ex-Houston Rockets forward Scottie Pippen, on his beloved teammate Charles Barkley. (10/99)

"Some people are put on this earth to do certain things. He picked Sammy and me to do this." -- St. Louis Cardinal Mark McGwire, on why he and Sammy Sosa hit so many homeruns. (9/99)

"You want to contain yourself and not get too caught up in the moment. There's a certain honor in playing the game, and I try to stay within that. I was running around the bases, wanting to jump up and down like I was an 8-year old kid and enjoy the moment. But you have a certain responsibility to conduct yourself as a professional. I was taught that by my father." -- Baltimore Orioles third baseman Cal Ripken after hitting the 400th homerun of his career. He became the 29th member of the 400-homer club. (9/99)

"This is the same Bill Walton that was at UCLA smoking pot and ... if that's the way Bill feels, that's fine." -- New York forward Larry Johnson, after Walton said Johnson was a "disgrace to the human race." This was in response to Johnson's comments that his team had "a lot of rebellious slaves" after the Knicks lost 96-89 to the San Antonio Spurs in game four of the 1999 NBA Finals. (6/99)

"I don't care if anybody likes me or not. I play basketball." -- New York Knicks forward Larry Johnson, after an 89-81 win over the San Antonio Spurs in game 3 of the 1999 NBA Finals. (6/99)

"How can he get a technical just for blowing a kiss ?" -- Los Angeles Lakers head coach Kurt Rambis, after Dennis Rodman was given a technical foul for, well, blowing a kiss to the bench of the Dallas Mavericks after making a free throw. It gives a whole new meaning to "love hurts" ! (3/99)

"In my mind, unquestionably they are the best last-place team in America." -- Ohio State men's basketball coach Jim O'Brien, after his Buckeyes lost to Illinois, 79-77, in the semi-finals of the Big Ten Conference tournament. The Illini finished dead last in the Big Ten regular season, have won three games in a row in the tournament, and now play Michigan State for the automatic bid to the NCAA tournament. Their current record is 14-17. Yogi Berra would love this O'Brien guy. (3/99)

"Fire Bowlsby ! Fire Bowlsby ! Fire Bowlsby !" -- the chant from the students section at Carver Hawkeye Arena as 19th-ranked Iowa beat Northwestern 65-48 in Coach Tom Davis' last home game as the Hawkeye Coach. Coach Davis is being fired by athletic director Bob Bowlsby after 13 seasons at Iowa for his "lack of success." In 13 seasons at Iowa, Davis has a record of 267-137. For you math fans, that's an average season record of 20.5 wins and 10.5 losses ! (2/99)

"I wasn't the cancer. The cancer is still there. He has white hair. And until they get rid of him, they are going to keep having lapses like this." -- former Los Angeles and current Denver guard Nick "Benign Tumor" Van Exel, with a thinly veiled attack on his former coach, Del Harris, after the Nuggets beat the slumping Lakers, 92-89. (2/99)

"If you want to blame anyone, blame me for everything that goes on around here. Don't blame our owner. Don't blame general manager Mitch Kupchak. Don't blame our players. Don't blame our coach. You people blame me, and I will accept it all." -- a tearful Los Angeles Lakers executive vice president Jerry West, after news that coach Del Harris had been fired. (2/99)

"I thought the referees did an awful job tonight. I felt like they cheated tonight. And you can quote me on that (Oh, I will, Shaq !). And if David Stern and them want to fine me, try to control people with money, they can take double and take triple, but you can't control me with no money. I've been taking this same abuse for seven years. So (expletive) them, I don't care. Fine me. Period. That's all I've got to say." -- Los Angeles center and most famous NBA player who has never won anything Shaquille O'Neal, after the Lakers lost to Seattle, 92-89. Shaq, here's some advice. Practice your free throws, don't disappear in the fourth quarter, stop traveling (even though you never get called for it), and get a jumpshot. (2/99)

"Hopefully, I'll be playing this week, and hopefully, the Lakers and the people of California will accept me for who I am and what I do. If not, I'll move on. ... I'm never going to win, no matter what I do for this league, for the game of basketball. I'm never going to win." -- former Chicago Bulls and soon-to-be-signed Los Angeles Lakers forward Dennis Rodman, on how he is perceived. Dennis, here's some advice. Practice your free throws, then go talk to Shaq. By the way, has anyone seen Carmen Electra ? (2/99)

"There are people who get up at 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning and work five straight days. We don't have it bad, do we ?" -- Toronto Raptors forward Charles Oakley, after hearing of numerous complaints from other NBA players about playing games on three consecutive nights. (2/99)

"I just don't imagine Dennis playing for that kind of money. But it's not over until the fat lady sings." -- Lakers owner Jerry Buss, on the prospect of Dennis Rodman playing for Los Angeles this season for $1 million. Rodman earned $18 million with the Chicago Bulls last season. (2/99)

"I stunk like old fish grease." -- Sacramento small forward Corliss Williamson, after making only 2 of 10 shots on opening night in the NBA as the Kings lost to the San Antonio Spurs 101-83. (2/99)

"I apologize to my Jewish friends here and around the world and I apologize to the Christians here for having created any kind of rift. I apologize not for what I believe, but for my lack of tact and judgment in making a statement that served no purpose whatsoever." -- the Rev. Jerry Falwell, after stating last month that the Antichrist is a Jewish man who probably is alive today. (2/99)

"They are better than us. They came to our house and proved they were smarter, had more patience, and didn't get rattled. Until we become more cerebral, they will always kick our butts. That's the bottom line." -- Sonoma State men's basketball coach Pat Fuscaldo, after the Aggies rallied to beat the Cossacks 62-55 in Rohnert Park. (1/99)

"It's beautiful. It was whiter than white, and it was everywhere." -- 29-year old Anntonett Gomez of Bakersfield, after measurable (6 inches) snow fell in the Southern California town-- for the second time in recorded history. (1/99)

"I am two or three hours from believing that I shot a 59." -- PGA golfer David Duval, after shooting a 59 in the final round of the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic and coming from seven strokes down on the final day to win by a single stroke over Steve Pate. It was the best closing round in PGA history, and tied for the lowest round ever in PGA history with Al Geiberger (1977) and Chip Beck (1991). (1/99)

"When I first got here (from Yugoslavia) even for the first couple of years it was a dream. I didn't know what I was and it was not real. Now I'm looking at the NBA with open eyes and realizing that it's an opportunity not too many people get. I thought I was supposed to be here. Now I know that it's a privilege." -- 7-1 NBA veteran center Vlade Divac, after signing with the Sacramento Kings for $62.5 million for 6 years. (1/99)

"God wanted this child to live. That's why he sent him to me." -- William E. Spoonemore of Orangevale (Sacramento), CA, after finding a kicking and crying 9-lb. infant wrapped in a towel and lying in his front yard early one morning. The baby's body temperature had dropped to 88 degrees. (1/99)

"Of course, I don't even know how to talk about what I believe Hillary has meant to the success of our endeavors ... and just a thousand other things. And she has done it under circumstances I think are probably more difficult than anyone who has ever done it before. I love her for it, but our country should love her for it as well." -- President William Jefferson Clinton, getting in touch with his feminine side. (1/99)

"Their team unity and will to win is very impressive. They don't care about their hair, or if their shorts are long enough. They just play their butts off." -- Grant High School (Sacramento) guard Stephen Walton, on the No. 1 ranked Oak Ridge (Sacramento) boys basketball team. Grant's only two losses are to Oak Ridge. (1/99)

"I need respect. Everybody is writing trashy articles about me. They're trying to assassinate my character. I'm a man. I can only take so much." -- renowned heavyweight boxer Mike (the "other" Mike) Tyson, returning to the boxing ring after a 19-month ear-biting ban with a 5th round technical knockout of South Africa's Francois Botha. Mike knows just how Rodney Dangerfield feels. (1/99)

"The main reason I'm disappointed in the young people in this league is because they look at Michael and they don't understand him. They see the greatest, but they don't know why he was so great. They miss the point. They don't remember or realize that when he first came into the league all he did was drive and dunk on everybody. He worked hard to add a jumpshot, the three-point shot, the post-up moves, the passing, the defense, and the leadership. There are so many guys in the league who don't understand the progression of his greatness. They don't realize that he evolved into what he is now through hard work and tremendous dedication." -- former NBA great Magic Johnson, on the Chicago Bulls' Michael Jordan, who announced his retirement from basketball. (1/99)

"Many of us who believed in the bilingual education program were scared about the unknowns. Now we're saying that maybe it's not so bad. Maybe it's time we start talking about the positives." -- Los Angeles Elementary School bilingual education coordinator Jose Posada, on the unexpectedly promising performances of Spanish-speaking students, after the implementation of Proposition 227, California's controversial anti-bilingual education law. (1/99)

"I'm not the great big idol with the golden head. I'm John Thompson who's fragile and weak and has to address things that pertain to him also." -- Goergetown University's coaching icon John Thompson, who unexpectedly and abruptly resigned his coaching position, citing marital and personal matters, after 27 years on the sidelines for the Hoyas. (1/99)

"I'd be a fool to say that wasn't a hard game, but frankly, we're not the lowly Falcons anymore. The days of kicking sand in our face are over." -- Atlanta Falcons safety Eugene Robinson, after the Falcons beat the San Francisco Forty-Niners 20-18 in the second round of the NFL playoffs. (1/99)

"That's cool. I'm overwhelmed. That's wild." -- Denver Broncos running back Terrell Davis, after being named the 1998 Most Valuable Player in the NFL. (1/99)

"It's tough when you lose by three or four touchdowns." -- Sacramento State men's basketball coach Tom Abatemarco, after his Hornets lost 98-57 to 16th-ranked Minnesota. (12/98)

"I'm trying to think of something nice to say about us. We were lethargic. We missed 10 layups right away and got nothing from the bench." -- Cincinnati head coach Bob Huggins, after his No. 4 ranked Bearcats squeaked by the lightly-regarded Dayton Flyers 53-51. (12/98)

"Now I realize, with not so much chaos in my life, I am conscious of some things. I'm sorry if I grabbed some butts or cursed somebody." -- a kinder, gentler, heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson, about to enter the ring again. After being banned for 17 months for biting off Evander Holyfield's ear, the 32-year old Tyson will fight on January 16 against No. 2 ranked South African Francois Botha, who has a career record of 39-1. (12/98)

"He's a cerified liar, a card-carrying liar, and lying is the cancer at the base of every crime ever committed. I don't even like Republicans, by and large. But this guy is a sociopath. I'm ashamed to be a Democrat." -- actor James Wood, on the President. (12/98)

"When you have a serial violator of the oath who is chief law enforcement officer of the United States... you have a problem." -- Republican Representative Henry Hyde of Illinois, during the impeachment debate of President Clinton. (12/98)

"The question is, what are we going to do now ? I have accepted responsibility for what I did wrong in my personal life and invited members of Congress to work with us to find a reasonable, bipartisan, and proportionate response." -- President William Jefferson Clinton, shortly after being impeached by the House of Representatives on December 19, 1998. It is only the second impeachment in the history of our country. (12/98)

"In my view he was the greatest light-heavyweight in the history of boxing and one of the greatest boxers in any division." -- former light-heavyweight champ Jose Torres, on fellow former boxing champ Archie Moore who died at the age of 84. Moore held the light-heavyweight title for 11 years, had a record of 194-26-8, and knocked out 141 opponents. He was elected to the Boxing Hall of Fame in 1966. (12/98)

"For crying out loud, this is the greatest win in the history of the Hawkeyes." -- Iowa guard Kent McCausland after beating 6th-ranked Kansas in Lawrence and snapping the Jayhawks' 62 game home winning streak. Iowa won by overcoming an 18-point second half deficit and 31 turnovers. (12/98)

"He has a lot of things that are difficult to teach in terms of feel for the game. He has a very good basketball IQ in terms of understanding the game and seeing the game like a coach. Because of the way he asks good questions, you can tell he's a student of the game and enjoys the learning process." -- UCLA head coach Steve Lavin, on former Del Campo (Sacramento) basketball star Matt Barnes, now a starting freshman for the Bruins. (12/98)

"I was on their home turf and acting kind of like an idiot." -- Philadelphia quarterback Koy Detmer, after making his first start against the Packers and directing the Eagles to a 13-10 lead then taunting the Green Bay sideline. Green Bay won 24-16. (12/98)

"He is, at the present time, the most exciting player in the NFL." -- Vikings owner Red McCombs, on Minnesota's star rookie wide receiver Randy "Longlegs" Moss. (12/98)

"The bears may have been all killed off, but the cubs are still around, and it's just a matter of time before the cubs begin to growl." -- Ahjamu Umi, head of the Sacramento chapter of Ture's All-African Peoples Revolutionary Party, on the recent death of Kwame Ture (formerly Stokely Carmichael) and the earlier losses of such black leaders as the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., Huey Newton, Eldridge Cleaver, and Malcolm X. (11/98)

"We don't put people in jail for being dumb or stupid. I wasn't hurt. I was embarrassed. Of course, I was glad it wasn't a frozen ice cream pie. That might have hurt." -- UC Davis chancellor Larry Vanderhoef, after being struck in the face with a banana cream pie during an informal meeting to answer questions about university matters. The Biotic Baking Brigade took responsibility for the attack, claiming (incorrectly) that UC Davis had entered into a strategic alliance (contract) with genetic-engineering pirate Monsanto. (11/98)

"Twenty-nine years ! Let my people go free !" -- Kansas State alumnus Jordan White, after the Wildcats beat the Nebraska Cornhuskers 40-30 in a football game for the first time in 29 years. (11/98)

"Montana is an excellent team, and I want to thank them for not making it easy." -- Sac State running back Charles Roberts, after setting an NCAA Div. I-AA single season rushing record of 2260 yards with 176 yards aginst the Grizzlies. Roberts has 11 consecutive 100-yd. games this season with 19 touchdowns in 386 carries. He went the entire season without a fumble. (11/98)

"I made the first few guys miss and ran downfield. I was so excited, I didn't know what to do in the end zone. I hadn't scored since high school." -- UC Davis Aggies return specialist Artemus Jones, on his first collegiate touchdown scored in a 48-16 win over Western Oregon. (11/98)

"I apologize for this incident to all pigs of the world."-- Hsu I-sheng of the Taiwnese Democratic Progressive Party, after he literally threw two small, live pigs at an opposing politician. (11/98)

"If we lose the season it will be a disaster for our players, a disaster for our owners, and a disaster for everyone associated with the game-- period."-- NBA commissioner David Stern, on the NBA lockout. (11/98)

"The commissioner has continuously tried to drive a wedge through the players, and repeatedly he has failed. He attempted to pit the superstars against the minimum-salary players, and he has tried to buy off the current veterans at the expense of younger future players. Now he wants to split the players, the agents, and the union."-- executive director Billy Hunter of the NBA players association, on commissioner David Stern and the NBA lockout. (11/98)

"The owners are right and the players are right. There is no happy medium. They should just cancel the whole season and let everybody get a real job... I'll bet they come to an agreement real quick."-- Chicago Bulls forward Dennis Rodman, on the NBA lockout. (11/98)

"We have before us a panorama of death, desolation, and ruin throughout the entire country. The floods and landslides have erased many villages and households from the map, as well as whole neighborhoods of cities. I ask the international community for human solidarity."-- President Carlos Flores Facusse of Honduras, after Hurricane Mitch passed through Nicaragua and Honduras causing an estimated 10,000 deaths. (11/98)

"I will do everything I can so that no Israeli mother will be worried if her son or daughter is late coming home or any Israeli would be afraid when they heard an explosion."-- Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat, after an historic signing of a Mideast peace accord between Israel and Palestine. (10/98)

"We quarrel, we agree, we are friendly, we are not friendly, but we have no right to dictate through irresponsible action or narrow-mindedness the future of our children or their children's children."-- King Hussein of Jordan, after an historic signing of a Mideast peace accord between Israel and Palestine. (10/98)

"It's an old record and I am proud to have a piece of it."-- Denver Bronco kicker Jason Elam, after kicking an NFL record-tying 63-yard field goal in 37-24 victory over Jacksonville. New Orlean's Tom Dempsey set the record in 1970. (10/98)

"You know, I'm barely interested in my own life. I don't know how you could be interested in it."-- comedian/actor Jerry Seinfeld, responding to questions about his private life. (10/98)

"I don't let anyone control my destiny. I know I'm in control right now, and I know that anything I do from this point on-- if I don't make it in life and be successful-- I know it's my fault, and I can't blame anybody but myself."-- UC Davis Aggies star running back G. P. Muhammad, on his future. (10/98)

"To see that in the United States they applauded a Dominican makes me happy and proud to be a Dominican."-- right fielder Sammy Sosa of the Chicago Cubs, after hitting 66 homeruns this season. (10/98)

"The government's case is strong on rhetoric and short on substance. The effort to demonize Bill Gates in the opening statement is emblematic of this approach, which wrongly characterizes evidence of tough competition as proof of anti-competitive conduct."-- Microsoft attorney William Neukom, after opening statements in the government's antitrust case against Microsoft Corp. and Chairman Gates. (10/98)

"This process is not in my hands. It is in the hands of Congress and the people of this country-- ultimately in the hands of God. There is nothing I can do."-- President Clinton, after becoming the third president in U. S. history to face impeachment proceedings when the House of Representatives voted to launch an unlimited investigation of his conduct. (10/98)

"I would bank my life that Byron will be a success at whatever he chooses. I have watched him from the time he was in high school, saw him come in under difficult circumstances, and he was a consumate professional. He never complained about anything. Practice, money, travel. This is one of the great guys I've ever been around in my life."-- Los Angeles Lakers general manager Jerry West, on former Laker guard and new Sacramento Kings assistant coach Byron Scott. (10/98)

"Don't worry about anything. Worrying never solved anything. All it does is distort your mind."-- Milton W. Gardner, after being named America's oldest worker by Green Thumb, Inc. Gardner has been working for the Frick Refrigeration Co. in Waynesboro, Pa., for 78 years. He is 103 years old. (10/98)

"It's another hill to climb."-- New York Yankee right fielder Darryl Strawberry, after being unexpectedly sidelined by colon cancer during the American League playoffs. (10/98)

"It's not about me playing. It's about me and my team."-- former Boston Celtic great Larry Bird, after being inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. (10/98)

"He knows what that piece of wood is for, and it's not to clean off his shoes."-- Texas manager Johnny Oates, on the bat swung by rookie sensation Shane Spencer of New York during the Yankees 3-1 win over the Rangers in the second game of their playoff series. Spencer hit a homer and a single in the win. After spending eight years in the minor leagues, Spencer was called up by the Yankees on August 31. He hit eight homeruns including three grand slams-- tying a club season record held by Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and Joe DiMaggio-- during the month of September. (10/98)

"Usually, the doctors check a fighter's heart, but with Larry and me, they're just going to see if we have a pulse."-- former heavyweight boxing champion George Foreman, on his upcoming fight with former heavyweight boxing champion Larry Holmes. Holmes turns 49 on November 3. Foreman turns 50 on January 23. (9/98)

"Instead of wallowing in regret, I am working at repairing my life and my marriage. My wife is a remarkable woman, and her strength and support are a constant inspiration to me during this painful time."-- President Clinton, on his wife Hillary. (9/98)

"I would tell them that all people can make mistakes, even presidents."-- President Clinton, when asked what he would tell young children about the Lewinsky mess he got himself into. (9/98)

"I'm speechless really. I can't believe I did it. Can you ? It blows me away."-- St. Louis Cardinal first baseman Mark McGwire, after hitting his 70th (and final) homerun of the season. (9/98)

"What they wanted to do, and what they did do was to find any negative information they could on me, whether it was true or not; get it in a deposition; and then leak it, even though it was illegal to do so. And so they just thought they would take a wrecking ball to me and see if they could do some damage."-- President Bill Clinton during his taped grand jury deposition. (9/98)

"The tapes substantiate what he did. He's a man of no morals and no integrity and he's made this country a laughingstock around the world. I am flabbergasted that any Americans can trivialize this."-- Susan Quinang, a ballroom dancing instructor from College Station, Texas, after watching the taped grand jury deposition of President Clinton. (9/98)

"It's something I need to work on and I don't think it's right. It's not right to have an affair with a married man. I never expected to fall in love with the president. I was surprised that I did."-- Monica Lewinsky during her grand jury deposition. (9/98)

"This is a record for a man."-- East German track coach Peter Hein, referring to Florence Griffith Joyner's world record of 10.49 seconds in the 100 meters set in 1988. This is faster that the men's national records in Ireland, Norway, Iran, and New Zealand. FloJo died unexpectedly at the age of 38. (9/98)

"I think the time is right."-- Baltimore Oriole's third baseman Cal Ripken, after voluntarily ending his consecutive games streak at 2,632 games. The current consecutive games leader is now White Sox outfielder Albert Belle ... at 327 games. (9/98)

"We're not going to win every game. I hope people understand that."-- Oregon State quarterback Terrance Bryant, on the Beavers 2-0 start. Oh, by the way, OSU has not had a winning season in football since 1970. (9/98)

"I wasn't trying to hit a homerun. I was just trying not to strike out."-- right fielder Sammy Sosa of the Chicago Cubs, after hitting his 63rd homerun of the season (a grand slam) to tie Mark McGwire in the race for the coveted single season homerun title. (9/98)

"God bless America."-- Chicago Cubs right fielder Sammy Sosa of the Chicago Cubs, after hitting his 63rd homerun of the season in San Diego, and hearing 50,000 rival fans cheering, "SAM-MY !SAM-MY !" (9/98)

"Baseball bin beddy beddy good to me."-- Slammin' Sammy Sosa of the Chicago Cubs, who is a native of the Dominican Republic. I think (Saturday Night Live's) Chico Esquella would be very proud. (9/98)

"I feel great about accepting this prize. It's nice to be regarded on par with a great white man-- now that's funny ! Seriously, though, two things people throughout history have had in common are hatred and humor. I am proud that, like Mark Twain, I have been able to use humor to lessen people's hatred."-- comedian Richard Prior, after receiving the first Mark Twain prize for humor from the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. (9/98)

"I am proud of his leadership. I am proud of his commitment."-- First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton on her embattled husband, Bill, after the release of Kenneth Starr's report on possible impeachable offenses by the President. It's quite moving, isn't it ? (9/98)

"If a President of the United States ever lied to the American people he should resign."-- Bill Clinton in 1974 at the height of the Watergate scandal. (9/98)

"Living day to day, hand to mouth, well, it's not easy. Life is hard at the bottom."-- Raymond "Razor" Gonzales Villanueva, a 56-year old artist and homeless man living on the banks of the American River in Sacamento. (9/98)

"A sign of a good executive is someone who doesn't return phone calls."-- Terry Semel, co-CEO of Warner Brothers. (9/98)

"That's why he's the man."-- Chicago Cubs right fielder Sammy Sosa on Mark McGwire, after he and the St. Louis Cardinals first baseman went head to head in the second of a two game series. Both players started the game with 47 homeruns. In the fifth inning Sosa hit his 48th homerun. In the eighth and tenth innings McGwire hit his 48th and 49th homeruns. (8/98)

"I'm not thinking about catching McGwire. If it happens, hey, God bless America."-- Chicago Cubs right fielder Sammy Sosa on the homerun chase with St. Louis' Mark McGwire. (8/98)

"I misled people, including even my wife. I deeply regret that. I must put it right, and I am prepared to do whatever it takes to do so."-- our beloved President Bill Clinton, on coming "clean" about Monica Lewinsky. Hey, Bill ! Are you prepared to lie to put it right ? (8/98)

"I cannot condone the relationship the president has acknowledged and am very disappointed in his personal conduct."-- House Democratic leader Richard Gephardt of Missouri, after President Clinton's Monica Lewinsky speech. (8/98)

"I was present in the Roosevelt Room in January when the president categorically denied any sexual involvement with Monica Lewinsky. I believed him. But his Monday night remarks to the nation leave me with a deep sense of sadness in that my trust in his credibilty has been badly shattered."-- Democratic Senater Diane Feinstein of California, after President Clinton's Monica Lewinsky speech. (8/98)

"President Clinton should resign or face impeachment. Perjury is not excused by an apology compelled by overwhelming evidence and delivered under pressure."-- Democratic Representaive Paul McHale of Pennsylvania, after President Clinton's Monica Lewinsky speech. (8/98)

"I am proud of him because he is a great president, and I am honored to have him as a friend."-- Vice-President Al Gore, after President Clinton's Monica Lewinsky speech. Isn't partisan politics fun, boys and girls ? (8/98)

"My dairy farmers tell me that because of the heat the cows are just off their feed, off their milk, and production is down a third or a half. I know how the cows feel."-- Oklahoma agriculture commissioner Dennis Howard, on the prolonged heat wave in the southwestern United States (8/98)

"He is the undisputed king of leadoff hitters. And he's still the best."-- Oakland A's Bip Roberts, on 39-year old teammate Ricky Henderson, who leads the majors in stolen bases and the American league in walks. His current career marks are-- 6th in runs scored with 1974, 4th in walks with 1850, and 1st in steals with 1274. (7/98)

"First time I cry in my life."-- 20-year old LPGA golfer Se Ri Pak, after becoming the youngest winner of the U.S. Women's Open by beating another 20-year old, Jenny Chuasiriporn, by one stroke in a 20-hole playoff. Chuasiriporn is an amateur. (7/98)

"Deep forest, great forest, something forest. Maybe stay out of the woods."-- amateur golfer Wannalee (Jenny) Chuasiriporn, when asked by a reporter the meaning of her first name. (7/98)

"I feel like a criminal. Each rider had two police officers. They put me under pressure for four or five hours. They took everything. I undressed. They could see all of me. I went in to a cell with a wooden bed. But I feel better inside because I have told the truth. Perhaps it is good for the sport."-- Tour de France cyclist Armin Meier, after being banned from the race for admittedly taking the drug EPO, a hormone that increases the red blood supply. (7/98)

"I just wanted to walk away knowing I did my best. I've done this for so many years. I know I did my best."-- the "world's greatest female athlete" Jackie Joyner-Kersee, after finishing 6th in the long jump in her final track and field competition. At the age of 36 she walks away from a sport in which she won six Olympic medals, including golds in the heptathlon in 1988 and 1992 and the long jump in 1988. She won four world championship gold medals in the heptathlon in 1987 and 1993 and in the long jump in 1987 and 1991. (7/98)

"You get so nervous, you want to throw up."-- PGA golfer Tom Lehman, who has played in the final group of the fourth round of the U.S. Open for the past four years. (6/98)

"It's totally out of hand. I feel like a caged animal."-- St. Louis Cardinal's slugger Mark McQwire, on his reluctance to take batting practice before games. His swings and distances of his drives have been shown on the pre-game scoreboard in some ballparks. (6/98)

"We are the most diverse people on the planet. All this box-checking and separating people by race in California is idiocy."-- Ward Connerly, University of California Regent and engineer of Proposition 209, which bans the use of race and gender as factors in state hiring, contracting, and education. Mr. Connerly cites his own racial make-up-- Irish, African American, Cajun, and Choctaw Indian-- for his strenuous resistance to labels. (6/98)

"The only person I'm intimidated by is my ex-wife."-- Chicago Bulls' Dennis Rodman, when asked if he was intimidated by Utah Jazz' Karl Malone. (6/98)

"I get really sick of turning on 'America's Most Wanted' or 'Cops' and seeing someone wearing our stuff being busted."-- Morris Bradshaw, director of marketing for the Oakland Raiders. (6/98)

"This will go down in Chicago history with the other big massacres, like the Valentine's Day Massacre and all the rest of them."-- Utah forward Adam Keefe, after the Chicago Bulls defeated the Jazz 96-54 in Game 3 of the NBA Finals. (6/98)

"If my hunger and my excitement for the game still continue and I have the appetite for that at the end of the season-- win, lose, or draw-- I will continue to play."-- Chicago Bulls' Michael Jordan, on his playing status for next season. (6/98)

"Considering my age, you'd think they'd want to put my face on a bottle of Geritol."-- '60's space hero and Ohio Senator John Glen, after learning that fellow lawmakers want his picture on a box of Wheaties after Glen flies in another space shuttle in October 1998. (5/98)

"Right now, I hate his guts."-- Los Angeles Lakers point guard Nick Van Exel, on Utah Jazz point guard John Stockton. Utah leads the best of seven Western Conference Championship series 2-0. (5/98)

"This is a poorly disguised attempt by Mr. Sprewell's new attorneys to reargue claims that have already been rejected and put to rest by an arbitrator."-- NBA executive vice president and chief legal adviser Jeffrey Mishkin, on the news that Latrell Sprewell is suing the NBA and the Golden State Warriors for more than $30 million in lost wages and and damages he claims were caused by his suspension for attacking coach P. J. Carlesimo... Am I missing something ?... By the way, do you smell something funny ? (5/98)

"Sprewell wouldn't just go quietly back to the plantation."-- Latrell Sprewell's new attorney Robert Thompson, who is Caucasian, on why Latrell Sprewell, who is African American, is suing the NBA and the Golden State warriors for over $30 million, alleging violations of state and federal civil rights and racial discrimination laws. (5/98)

"I know I'm speaking for a lot of people in here when I say that's the best game I've ever seen pitched by anybody."-- Chicago Cubs manager Jim Riggleman, after the team's 20-year old rookie pitcher, Kerry Woods, tied a major league record with 20 strike-outs, including no walks, in a 2-0 win over the Houston Astros. He shares the record with Roger Clemens (twice with Boston). (5/98)

"I think assault rifles in California are like a lighted match around dynamite. It is just a matter of time until the explosion. There is so much anger and hate in this state. There are so many abused kids with abusive parents, and so many neglected kids without parents. There is so much road rage and racial tension. There are so many psychopaths. How can we expect anything but mass killing in our future, especially when we make selling assault rifles legal ? -- Bruce Burdick of Carmichael, CA, in a letter to the Sacramento Bee. (5/98)

"I ate too many Frosted Flakes. I don't remember what I said last night."-- Laker center Shaquille O'Neal, referring to the quote below. (5/98)

"He looks like a woman coach sometimes. I guess he's just trying to get into certain people's heads, but it won't work with me. Like a woman who coaches and cries all the time. He can't get in my head. He's a crybaby."-- Laker center Shaquille O'Neal on Supersonic Coach George Karl, after Seattle beat Los Angeles 106-92 in the first game of their second-round playoff series. (5/98)

"There's some great women coaches in this game. I'm thinking about wearing an apron tonight."-- Supersonic Coach George Karl, referring to the above quote. (5/98)

"I've taken classes from a lot of professors and read a lot of books by professors, and I can tell you that there are few professors who actually understand anything about reality. Ask them anything about theory; just don't ask them anything about the real world, because they aren't living in it."-- Adam Bowers, writing for the UC Davis Aggie. (5/98)

"I don't want to be a star. I just want to be a player. I had my days of what they call stardom. That's not important to me. What's important to me is to enjoy my life and help other people who are having problems."-- eight-time all-star and New York Yankee Darryl Strawberry, who at 36 is currently batting 0.345 with a team-high seven home runs. (5/98)

"Brian Fogel is a rising young star in the college coaching profession, and we are pleased that he will lead us into the future."-- Athletic Director Greg Warzecka, after naming Brian Fogel the new men's head basketball coach at UC Davis. (5/98)

"This is a great school at which to recruit, teach and coach, and I'm looking forward to the challenge."-- Brian Fogel, after being named the new men's head basketball coach at UC Davis. (5/98)

"I must admit that my examples may have been somewhat clumsy and inappropriate on how the races differ, but my intent was not to demean anyone. If I did, I humbly ask for your forgiveness."-- Green Bay Packers defensive end Reggie White, after a speech about racial differences and homosexuality to Wisconsin lawmakers last month. (4/98)

"It was flattering."-- University of Utah men's basketball coach Rick Majerus, after reportedly being offered $1 million per year to coach at Arizona State. (4/98)

"I've been taught by two coaches to live in the precious present."-- Wildcat Jeff Sheppard, after being named Final Four MVP following Kentucky's come-from-behind 78-69 win over Utah. (3/98)

"That's the greatest women's basketball team I have ever seen."-- Louisiana Tech head coach Leon Barmore, after the Lady Techsters lost to the Lady Vols of Tennessee 93-75 in the NCAA national championship game. (3/98)

"The bigger the price you pay for something, the harder it is to give up on it."-- UC Davis men's head basketball coach Bob Williams, during his pregame talk to his team before beating College of St. Rose 88-76 in a semi-final game of the NCAA Div. II Championships. (3/98)

"Passers pass, shooters shoot, defenders defend."-- UC Davis men's assistant basketball coach Brian Fogel, during his pregame talk to the team before beating College of St. Rose 88-76 in a semi-final game of the NCAA Div. II Championships. (3/98)

"Waiting for me to retire is like leaving the porch light on for Jimmy Hoffa."-- legendary comedian Milton Berle, who turns 90 on July 12. (3/98)

"I emphatically deny it. It did not happen."-- President Clinton, in his deposition about that Paula Jones mess. (3/98)

"I do think we are moving to talking about a womanizer to talking about, perhaps, a predator."-- president of the National Organization for Women and longtime Clinton supporter Patricia Ireland, on President Clinton. (3/98)

"To have ex-players from my first year here-- Todd Wilson, Kenny Manfredi, Danny Yoshikawa, all those guys were here, and all those guys were happy for us, that's what's special about it. It's special to see the people that were there for us when we weren't quite so good, and those people who stuck with us and helped support the program and the guys that have given blood, sweat, and tears to help us get better and better evry year."-- UC Davis men's head basketball coach Bob Williams, on his team's success this season. (3/98)

"Anyone who thinks this has been an overnight success story, and that this has been an easy journey, obviously hasn't rode on the same train as we have."-- UC Davis men's head basketball coach Bob Williams, on his team's success this season. (3/98)

"When there's 3000 people out there screaming at you, it has an effect."-- Seattle Pacific forward jeff McBroom on the notorious Aggie Pack, after his team lost 80-52 to UC Davis in the NCAA Div. II Western Regional Championship game. (3/98)

"He's the greatest point guard in the world."-- Philadelphia point guard Allen Iverson on Washington's point guard Rod Strickland, after Strickland had 26 points and 10 assists and held Iverson to 4 of 14 shooting in a 76ers' 100-91 loss to the Wizards. (3/98)

"Take my wife... please !"-- legendary comedian Henny Youngman, dead at the age of 91. (2/98)

"I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother."-- legendary comedian Henny Youngman, dead at the age of 91. (2/98)

"Holy Cow!"-- legendary Chicago Cubs baseball announcer Harry Caray, dead at the age of 77. (2/98)

"We played like we had everything to lose and nothing to win."-- UC Davis men's basketball coach Bob Williams, after his team's shaky effort in a playoff win over Cal State Stanislaus, 62-52. (2/98)

"It's stressful, it can be crazy, it can be fun, and it can be heartbreaking."-- Elk Grove boys' basketball coach and former UC Davis Aggie Todd Reiswig, on the Sac-Joaquin Section high school basketball playoffs. (2/98)

"I hope five to 10 years from now, if I'm still able to play golf, the PGA will lean back and scratch their heads and say, `Why did we fight this guy ?' "-- professional golfer Casey Martin, after a federal court ruled that as a disabled golfer, Martin can ride a cart on the PGA golf tour. (2/98)

"It was a feeling of pure joy."-- 15-year old American Tara Lipinski, after winning a gold medal in figure skating at the Nagano Winter Olympics. (2/98)

"I just hope people remember me with respect and recognize that I played hard for four years with four great teams. I deem it a great privilege to wear the UC Davis uniorm every night."-- UC Davis basketball player Chris Vlasic, who leads the team in NCAC scoring at 12.7 per game. Chris has hit last-second shots or made free throws late in a game to win several games this season. (2/98)

"It's crazy. It doesn't make any sense. If it's illegal, it's illegal."-- Detroit Pistons All-Star Grant Hill, on NBA Players Association executive director Billy Hunter's resistance to mandatory marijuana testing for NBA players. Hunter states that the entire union membership shouldn't be investigated because of the transgressions of a few. A few, Billy ? Who are you kidding ? (2/98)

"We should be tested. It's a no-brainer."-- San Antonio Spurs All-Star center David Robinson, on the debate surrounding mandatory marijuana testing for NBA players. (2/98)

"If Webber wants to be an All-Star, then he shouldn't be smoking pot on the way to practice."-- an anonymous NBA Eastern Conference assistant coach, after Chris Webber was not chosen to be an Eastern Conference All-Star reserve. Webber is averaging 21.9 points, 9.2 rebounds, and 3.7 assists, but was recently charged with possession of marijuana, resisting arrest, and second-degree assault on the way to a Washington Wizards practice. (1/98)

"I stood in deference to the presidency. But I have no respect for the man."-- Republican Representative Bob Barr of Georgia, after the President's State of the Union Address. (1/98)

"The state of our union is strong and President Clinton deserves the credit."-- Democratic Representative Charles Rangel of New York, after the President's State of the Union Address. (1/98)

"For the honor of your visit, for all your expressions of affection to the Cubans, for all your words, even those with which I might disagree, in the name of all the Cuban people, your holiness, I thank you."-- Cuban President Fidel Castro, addressing the Pope. (1/98)

"Liberation cannot be reduced to its social and political aspects. Rather, it reaches its fullness in the exercise of freedom of conscience, which is the basis and foundation of all other human rights."-- The Pope, speaking in Havana, Cuba. (1/98)

"Thank God Almighty."-- Denver Nuggets coach Bill Hanzlik, after his team beat the Los Angeles Clippers 99-81 to snap a 23-game losing streak that tied the NBA record for the longest streak in a single season. (1/98)

"I've patterned my style of play after John. As I got older, he was a guy I could relate to and emulate. And we're both pigeon-toed."-- Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre, on Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway. (1/98)

"I'm not as bad as everyone has made me out to be. It's as if I'm another O. J. Simpson. Yes, I was wrong, but I didn't kill anybody. I'm not a double murderer."-- Former Golden State Warrior Latrell Sprewell, on Latrell Sprewell. (1/98)

"At the minimum, this is serious, and at the maximum, it is unspeakable. Once you get into the legal arena, it doesn't matter that the economy's good and there's peace abroad."-- University of Virginia professor of government Larry Sabato, on the mess President Clinton has gotten himself into. (1/98)

"He's a player's player. He doesn't whine, he doesn't complain. He takes his lumps, takes his hits. He's always been that way. It speaks to his character and class."-- High School football coach Darryl Stroh, on Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway. (1/98)

"I have made more money than I should make for doing what I like to do. It just seemed like I ought to give it back."-- Penn State football coaching legend Joe Paterno, after he and his wife donated $3.5 million to the university to endow faculty positions and scholarships and support two building projects. (1/98)

"Michael wasn't Michael at age 19. He was Michael Jordan. Then he became Michael. And lately, he's just become MJ. And if he plays many more games like he did against us, he'll just be M."-- Los Angeles Lakers coach Del harris, on Kobe Bryant's being compared to Michael Jordan. (1/98)

"They're at the graduate level, and we're still in Basketball 101."-- Phoenix Suns coach Danny Ainge, on the 25-6 Seattle Supersonics. (1/98)

"As soon as I started walking off the court, I knew I'd made a bad decision. I heard the crowd kind of cheering me, but I don't want kids out there to think that I did the right thing ... You know, the worst thing of all about the whole thing was that my mom was in the stands. It was really embarrassing for her and myself."-- Sacramento Kings forward Corliss Williamson, after getting ejected for fighting with Derrick Coleman of the Philadelphia 76ers. (12/97)

"He's a first-class human being. He represents all the things that most of the great runners represent, because most of the great runners don't dance after scoring touchdowns. We hand the ball to the referee."-- Hall of Fame running back Jim Brown, on Detroit Lions running back Barry Sanders. (12/97)

"His majesty Jordan had no fouls in 38 minutes when he's hammering people. So we have a lot of things to overcome. It's almost like the world heavyweight boxing champion. You can't win on points."-- Miami coach Pat Riley on Chicago's Michael Jordan, after the Heat lost to the Bulls in a game where Miami had 8 more fouls than Chicago. Come on, Pat, have you already forgotten that you and the Lakers used to GET all those calls ? (12/97)

"What I did was wrong, and I hold myself accountable for my actions."-- Denver linebacker Bill Romanowski, after spitting in the face of San Francisco receiver J. J. Stokes during the Broncos 34-17 loss to the 49ers. Romanowski was fined $7500 by the league and intends to write a letter of apology to Stokes. (12/97)

"Since I've been here, I haven't had an opportunity to fulfill my potential, partly because I haven't played with a distributor."-- Philadelphia guard Jerry stackhouse after being traded to the Detroit Pistons, on former teammate Allen Iverson, who leads the 76ers in scoring and shots taken. (12/97)

"I never really thought I would win it. My body is limp. Even now I can't really grasp it."-- Michigan cornerback Charles Woodson, on winning the Heisman trophy, the first defensive player in the 63-year history of the award to do so. (12/97)

"I don't think guys are cussing just to be cussing. It's a way of expressing yourself. It may not be the right way. Sometimes you just lose it because of your competitive spirit."-- Indiana Pacers forward Antonio Davis, on the NBA's new and stricter enforcement of a long-standing rule against profanity. (12/97)

"Are you kidding ? We just got back from a long road trip. I miss my wife a lot more than I miss Larry."-- Phoenix Suns coach Danny Ainge, when asked if he would get together with former Boston Celtics teammate and current Indiana Pacers coach Larry Bird when the Pacers recently played the Suns. (12/97)

"What I've come to realize over the last three months is that I'm not going to sustain that pace (15-hour workdays) for any length of time."-- 60-year old Nebraska football coaching legend Tom Osborne, on why he will retire after the Huskers Jan. 2 Orange Bowl game against Tennessee. (12/97)

"It's kind of scary. You don't buy that magazine to look at someone like me."-- University of Washington junior Todd MacCullough, on being named to Playboy magazine's preseason All-America basketball team. (12/97)

"If screaming in a player's face was a crime, John Thompson and Bobby Knight would be on death row."-- Washington Post writer Michael Wilbon. (12/97)

"I'm a good person and I've never had any situation like this come up before. I feel 10 years of hard work shouldn't be taken away for one mistake."-- former NBA player and Warriors guard Latrell Sprewell. (12/97)

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggone it, people like me !"-- Stuart Smalley of Saturday Night Live. (12/97)

"I know how Carlesimo tried to deal with players, and I didn't think that was going to work with Sprewell. He (Carlesimo) is annoying. That's the bottom line. He doesn't know how to deal with men. He's used to dealing with college kids."-- Washington Wizards guard Rod Strickland, on the Sprewell situation. (12/97)

"I'm not sure what good can come out of it. You've got a guy out on the street with no source of income, and he's got kids to feed."-- Warriors guard Mugsy Bogues, on the Sprewell situation. (12/97)

"Maybe the coach deserved choking."-- San Francisco mayor and pillar of character Willie Brown, on the Sprewell situation. (12/97)

"I think it's pretty simple. You choke a coach, threaten to kill him, if he didn't trade you, with intent to do harm, and it takes eight people to restrain you. If that's not grounds for the termination of employment, I don't know what is."-- Warriors general counsel Robin Baggett, on the Sprewell situation. (12/97)

"All of the frustrations had just built up to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanted P.J. to leave me alone, basically...I totally don't condone this behavior, but I just got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore."-- Warriors guard Latrell Sprewell. (12/97)

"This is a 1000-mile journey, and every 10 minutes people want to know if we're there yet. No, we're not where we want to be. Evolution has to take place."-- Former Dallas Mavericks coach Jim Cleamons, just before he was fired after a 4-12 start. (12/97)

"Games are not won and lost on statistics, they are won and lost on people who make plays."-- New Haven Chargers football coach Tony Sparano, after UC Davis lost 27-25 to New Haven in an NCAA Div. II semi-final game despite outgaining the Chargers in yardage 575-260. (12/97)

"This is one of the most significant sports bribery conspiracies involving college athletes in the country, and I must stress the investigation is not over."-- Head of the FBI's Phoenix office Bruce Gephardt, after former Arizona State basketball players Stevin "Hedake" Smith and Isaac Burton Jr. admitted taking bribes for fixing four Sun Devil games in 1994. (12/97)

"Latrell Sprewell assaulted coach P. J. Carlesimo twice at Monday's practice. First, he choked him until forcibly pulled away. Then, after leaving practice, Mr. Sprewell returned and fought his way through others to commit a second, and this time clearly premeditated, assault. A sports league does not have to condone or accept behavior that would not be tolerated in any other segment of society."-- NBA commissioner David Stern, on the Golden State Warrior's troubled All-Star. (12/97)

"I got the call and it's not me."-- Baylor assistant football coach Lee Fobbs, one of three candidates for the coaching job at Grambling University, which went to Doug Williams, former NFL great and one of Eddie Robinson's former players. (12/97)

"It's amazing how players get live legs on defense when the shots start dropping. Somebody ought to do a doctorate study on it."-- UC Davis Aggie's coach Bob Williams, on his team's winning performance against Sac State. (12/97)

"I don't know Kareem well, but I don't know him to be a particularly personable or charismatic guy, and that might make it hard. I also have fears of guys who want to coach all of a sudden. Do they really want to coach, or do they want a lot of money and be on TV all the time ?."-- Warriors general manager Jerry Reynolds, on Kareem Abdul-Jabbar considering coaching in the NBA. (12/97)

"If I am the problem, I can be removed."-- Detroit Pistons' coach Doug Collins, on the team's 11 losses in the first 15 games. (12/97)

"There's going to be firepower the likes of which haven't been seen at this stadium in a long, long time."-- Angelo State football coach Jerry Vandergriff, before his Rams lost 50-33 to the Aggies in a Div. II playoff game. (11/97)

"No one sits on the bench in cross country. The worst players get the most playing time."-- Jesuit High School coach Walt Lange, one of the most successful cross country coaches in the country. (11/97)

"I think my first name is Interim now. I've got to check my birth certificate."-- former Sac State men's basketball coach and Arizona State Interim coach Don Newman, on his constantly being reminded about his temporary status. (11/97)

"If the NBA doesn't happen, I can live with it. I gave it my best shot...I see disabled people, people in wheel chairs, and they keep going. That's my inspiration. If I don't make it what do I have to complain about ?"-- 23-year old former Sac State basketball player Damond Edwards, the newest member of the world-famous Harlem Globetrotters. (11/97)

"You must respect yourself. Don't let anybody lead you into smoking or drugs. It does not count how many times you are on the floor. It does count how many times you get up."-- renowned calculus teacher (portrayed in the movie Stand and Deliver) Jaime Escalante, exhorting Roswell, N.M., youngsters to stay in school. (11/97)

"If I ever doubted this was the greatest country in the world, I don't now."-- 78-year old Grambling coaching legend Eddie Robinson who is retiring after 57 seasons on the sidelines. He has coached 586 games, more than any other college coach, and won 408, more than Amos Alonzo Stagg, Bear Bryant or anyone else. Since 1941, when Robinson took the job for $16 a week, he has delivered more than 200 players to the NFL. One of them, James Harris, was the first African American to be a regular starting quarterback in the league. Another, Doug Williams, was the first African American quarterback to win a Super Bowl. (11/97)

"Being able to play for this man is the best thing that ever happened in my life. I love you, Coach Rob."-- Junior receiver Silas Payne who plays for Grambling Coach Eddie Robinson. (11/97)

"I'm not selling the house yet."-- Chicago coach Phil Jackson on the Bull's 6-4 start. (11/97)

"We're like Iraq. We're hiding missiles. We've got two missiles in reserve."-- New Jersey forward Jayson Williams on the Nets playing without injured starters Keith Van Horn and Kerry Kittles. (11/97)

"The young players step up, the old players don't give up, and the hurt players come back and play hurt."-- UC Davis strong safety Jeremy Veasey after UC Davis beat 15th-ranked Grand Valley State to keeps its NCAA Div. II playoff hopes alive. (11/97)

"I know it's the worst whoopin' I've taken in a long time."-- Penn State linebacker Jim Nelson after No. 4 Michigan beat No. 2 Penn State 34-8. (11/97)

"I have seen the future, and he wears No. 21."-- Houston Rockets forward Charles Barkley referring to San Antonio Spurs rookie Tim Duncan. (11/97)

"Anybody who doesn't believe in God, I ask them to explain this."-- 5-foot-5, 120-pound Center High School (Sacramento) senior Anthony Colson, after he triple jumped 51 feet, 3 inches at the Sac-Joaquin Section Track and Field Championships at U. C. Davis. It is the longest mark in California and the 4th longest in the nation this year.

"He's a very bright guy and a very honest guy, as well as a very tough guy. All of those qualities add up. He'd be very successful anywhere he went."-- Indiana Pacers president Donnie Walsh, after signing NBA legend Larry Bird to a coaching contract for $4.5 million per year.

"Men hate each other because they fear each other, and they fear each other because they don't know each other, and they don't know each other because they are often separated from each other."-- the late Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"God gave me 10 great years. I have no regrets, only highlights."-- Phoenix guard and Sacramento native Kevin Johnson, after the Suns were eliminated from the NBA playoffs 116-92 by the Seattle Supersonics.

"Aggie head football coach Bob Biggs could tell you the meaning of Solo East Wing Trade Z Sail, Fake 53 294 Y Switch, but then he'd have to kill you. Wouldn't he ?"-- a Wall Street Journal representative who attempted, but failed, to obtain that most closely guarded of all documents: the football playbooks of U C Berkeley, UCLA and U C Davis.


Your comments and suggestions can be sent via e-mail to Coach Duane Kouba by clicking on the following address :

kouba@math.ucdavis.edu .